Thank you for sharing. I am a believer that it helps to talk about these things though as a culture we shy away because it's uncomfortable and we don't have the "habit" of sharing so openly - but that is just what the piazzas here in Italy were for - sharing our loved human experience for connection and compassion. I am sure your sharing helped someone. It's like in Harry Potter, the "one who shall not be named", keeping things in the dark makes them more scary - calling it out and sharing lessens the weight.
This particular day for a man that's lost a wife. Doesn't matter what year. It's the last day you get to say "My wife died last year." Today it's true for me. I don't think that fact has the same impact as "I lost my wife last month" but it still feels the same. I don't like playing the "my wife died "card but sometimes it helps people understand my behavior. I want 2025 to be the year I don't resort to that anymore. 2020 we took care of my mother in law in our home with hospice till she passed. 2021 I spent 38 days in the hospital 17 of which were on a ventilator beating COVID pneumonia. 2022 I spent recovering and my son got married (a happy memory especially dancing with my wife). 2023 wife is diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer and we take care of her at home again with hospice till she passed. I told my son at Christmas that there are days when this can feel like it all happened just last month. And it's not about comparing my journey to anyone else. I have met people that have had to endure far worse. I have found it helps to talk about it with people who understand or at least care about me. And maybe my words will help someone else.
Thank you for sharing. I am a believer that it helps to talk about these things though as a culture we shy away because it's uncomfortable and we don't have the "habit" of sharing so openly - but that is just what the piazzas here in Italy were for - sharing our loved human experience for connection and compassion. I am sure your sharing helped someone. It's like in Harry Potter, the "one who shall not be named", keeping things in the dark makes them more scary - calling it out and sharing lessens the weight.
This particular day for a man that's lost a wife. Doesn't matter what year. It's the last day you get to say "My wife died last year." Today it's true for me. I don't think that fact has the same impact as "I lost my wife last month" but it still feels the same. I don't like playing the "my wife died "card but sometimes it helps people understand my behavior. I want 2025 to be the year I don't resort to that anymore. 2020 we took care of my mother in law in our home with hospice till she passed. 2021 I spent 38 days in the hospital 17 of which were on a ventilator beating COVID pneumonia. 2022 I spent recovering and my son got married (a happy memory especially dancing with my wife). 2023 wife is diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer and we take care of her at home again with hospice till she passed. I told my son at Christmas that there are days when this can feel like it all happened just last month. And it's not about comparing my journey to anyone else. I have met people that have had to endure far worse. I have found it helps to talk about it with people who understand or at least care about me. And maybe my words will help someone else.